- british people: better stop off at the next motorway services since i've been driving for 3 hours, which is 1 hour more than the highway code recommends!!
- americans: yeah it's a pretty short drive only like 47 hours if i don't stop
420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through
hey friend. one day ur gonna be happy. one day ur gonna be sitting w someone u love in ur favourite place in the world and ur gonna think “wow. life is p great” and everything will be okay. but u gotta make it til then okay? just hang in there. u’ll be okay.
if i cry non-stop for 3 hours will i lose weight
what’s the difference between a lawyer and a mango? lots of things! i love to make jokes
I JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER WITH SOME OF MUM’S WORK FRIENDS AND THERE WAS A GIRL MY AGE BUT SHE DIDN’T SPEAK ENGLISH VERY WELL AND SHE KEPT ASKING THINGS LIKE DO YOU LIKE RICE AND WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE VEGETABLE BUT THEN SHE LEANT OVER AND WAS LIKE HOW LONG ARE YOUR PERIODS AND I WAS LIKE UM 3 OR 4 DAYS???? AND SHE GOES NO I MEANT SCHOOL PERIODS AND IT WAS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
3 or 4 days are you kidding me
MINE ARE 9 DAYS
“Maybe a relationship is just two idiots who don’t know a damn thing except the fact that they’re willing to figure it out together.”
“She’s sunny one minute then she’s pouring down rain”